There is more sweat here than I expected
more sweat under my skin
sticking to my shirt slowly and carelessly
while I settle in slowly and carelessly

I’ve been grasping for anything
that helps me stop shaking
bowing below that ego moon
that shines blinding through the night

I’ve been claiming clean space
renting out plain white rooms
and filling them with unsteady furniture
“I’m Julia”
{couch with a handful of stuffing ripped out}
“I’m not smart in an unassuming way”
{coffee table with a broken leg and stale crackers atop it}
“please pull me into any conversation that distracts me from myself”
{the only candle in the room}

I am waiting for the eye
of this fang-toothed swirl
to bat its lashes
and let me feel the breeze

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