Muddy Ribbons

What does it mean
to wake up on time
when under your clothes
you’re hiding a woman in gray
scrambling to the bottom of a lake?

What does it mean
to brush your teeth for two whole minutes
when under your clothes
you’re bound by muddy ribbons
to the tracks of a mechanical train?

What does it mean
to let your nails grow out
when you’re running in circles
running errands
in hopes that someone will turn their head for long enough
to let you be pressed into the soil
back from where you came from?

Looking into her eyes
I started to cry
because there was so much light in them
and I am a house
singing itself to sleep in the middle of the day
with boarded windows
and chairs pressed against the doors

It’s not that I don’t love you
it’s that you deserve to love someone
who isn’t out all night
walking the backstreets
of a town that only exists
in their mind

It’s not that I don’t love you
it’s that you deserve to love someone
who’s home often enough
to see the flowers you leave on the windowsill

What does it mean to keep the flowers alive
if too little
or too much
water will kill them?

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